10 things

THINGS THAT DON'T WORK in china:

1. "let's use our INDOOR voices."
2. "why don't we fix it right the first time."
3. "no, really, i DO wear enough clothes. it's a virus. V-I-R-U-S."
4. "honking really loses it's shock factor when you NEVER stop."
5. "is your nicotine level need so high that even a full elevator won't stop you from lighting up?"
6. "diapers only work when you change them."
7. "change is good."
8. "if you stand in the rain too long, you WILL melt." wait. that one does work.
9. "hey, i have an idea. if we wait until everyone gets OFF the bus, we'll have more room to get ON."
10. "saying hello AFTER you've WALKED PAST me will only get you the rear view of me flipping you off."

2 weeks i'll never get back

as much as it pains me, this guy prefers pepsi. whatever.



the parting gift for a ms. jiujiang pageant i was in. or a christmas present from my students. you decide.



bodhi and her ribbon breakfast. because i only feed them paper products.



in china we like to celebrate by displaying our finest in radioactive christmas trees.



i taught him everything he knows. passion fruit is the BOMB!

pictures of pictures

yep. they're photos within photos. welcome to the matrix.



i totally dig my eyebrows in this one. very "mwwwwwaaaaaaahhhhh" of me.



this would have been just another "charlie's angels" pose if i hadn't busted out my finest "namaste" on their crime fighting asses.



translation: oh, how we adore this crazy peach muffin the americans call Jennifer. she slaves for countless minutes and teaching us many useful phrases. in a word, she is great, like the mighty monkey king.



i think wallet size might be nice. let me know if you need one.

random jiujiang observations

marketing GENIUS!



there's nothing cooler than a condom wearing glasses. and nothing more disturbing than a condom with eyes.



it's charming because the ornaments are still in plastic. and by charming i mean "what the faahhhhk?"



i'm pretty sure that's a snow-DOG. obviously they've given more thought to their snow creatures than we have.



air santa. they're all the rage at the north pole.



the lovely ladies of Where The Hell selling whatever it is that they're selling.

shout-out to IW!

island wahine knows
that white widow does the deed
if amsterdam lethargy is your high
then this is your weed.

halloweed pt. 2

i look guilty already and we just got there . . .



at least once a year i like to wear lipstick. it makes me look approachable.



i was showing david how to get his groove on.



another disguise. can you tell which one i am?



david and his boy. precious really.

halloweed pt. 1

the crunk crusaders, in the bat cave, far below the city streets.



so this one time, at band camp . . .



my lily and her leif.