because i'm awesome

on monday i went to nanchang to receive an award for being an awesome foreign expert.



the booty.



the badge that i'm going to wear to class. because i can.



the bling that i'm going to wear for halloween. i'll be michael phelps, the early years.



inside the hotel. . . .



and out.

indulgence

chinese oddities currently in my possession:



as it says "keep healthy", i'll use it for medicinal marijuana purposes only.



oh, mao. we hardly knew ye.



it's a giraffe. that blows fire from the top of it's head. like they do in the wild.



fido on chili. not the best idea.



combination lighter, cigarette. it's a bitch to smoke.

chicken foot

today i was such a good teacher that a student showed her appreciation by giving me



. . . a chicken foot. but not the whole foot. just pieces of poultry really.



i'm using it to tape together the rip in my shorts that i refuse to sew.



in addition to looking fly and a little racist, ganja babe busts a move to "row, row, row your boat."




that should be sewn onto my shorts but i like it on my door better.



a moon-cake travel pack. very handy for those occasions when you just wish you had a tasty treat nearby.



because she's chinese, that's why.

because i have pictures

date: um, sometime last weekend
time: let's say pre-midnightish
place: the dxd dungeon of asian dancers
tags: nathan, jessica, dxd manager guy, dungeon dancer



here we have jessica and nathan demonstrating the correct posture for performing the heimlich maneuver. i think there may have been some watermelon stuck in her esophagus.



i'm not sure, but i think he just proposed marriage.



if the picture is unclear just focus on the thigh-highs. apparently that's what i was doing.



posterity shot: jessica losing all sensation in her lips.



but her eyes seem to be working fine. . .