pictures of pictures

yep. they're photos within photos. welcome to the matrix.



i totally dig my eyebrows in this one. very "mwwwwwaaaaaaahhhhh" of me.



this would have been just another "charlie's angels" pose if i hadn't busted out my finest "namaste" on their crime fighting asses.



translation: oh, how we adore this crazy peach muffin the americans call Jennifer. she slaves for countless minutes and teaching us many useful phrases. in a word, she is great, like the mighty monkey king.



i think wallet size might be nice. let me know if you need one.

random jiujiang observations

marketing GENIUS!



there's nothing cooler than a condom wearing glasses. and nothing more disturbing than a condom with eyes.



it's charming because the ornaments are still in plastic. and by charming i mean "what the faahhhhk?"



i'm pretty sure that's a snow-DOG. obviously they've given more thought to their snow creatures than we have.



air santa. they're all the rage at the north pole.



the lovely ladies of Where The Hell selling whatever it is that they're selling.

shout-out to IW!

island wahine knows
that white widow does the deed
if amsterdam lethargy is your high
then this is your weed.

halloweed pt. 2

i look guilty already and we just got there . . .



at least once a year i like to wear lipstick. it makes me look approachable.



i was showing david how to get his groove on.



another disguise. can you tell which one i am?



david and his boy. precious really.

halloweed pt. 1

the crunk crusaders, in the bat cave, far below the city streets.



so this one time, at band camp . . .



my lily and her leif.

because jessica loves halloween

so, my neighbor jessica LOVES halloween. probably more than she LOVES china. she did some decorating this week and i added a few decorations of my own.


because it's just too easy to rhyme.



why else would someone need so much candy?


all decked out and ready for munchies!

because i'm awesome

on monday i went to nanchang to receive an award for being an awesome foreign expert.



the booty.



the badge that i'm going to wear to class. because i can.



the bling that i'm going to wear for halloween. i'll be michael phelps, the early years.



inside the hotel. . . .



and out.

indulgence

chinese oddities currently in my possession:



as it says "keep healthy", i'll use it for medicinal marijuana purposes only.



oh, mao. we hardly knew ye.



it's a giraffe. that blows fire from the top of it's head. like they do in the wild.



fido on chili. not the best idea.



combination lighter, cigarette. it's a bitch to smoke.

chicken foot

today i was such a good teacher that a student showed her appreciation by giving me



. . . a chicken foot. but not the whole foot. just pieces of poultry really.



i'm using it to tape together the rip in my shorts that i refuse to sew.



in addition to looking fly and a little racist, ganja babe busts a move to "row, row, row your boat."




that should be sewn onto my shorts but i like it on my door better.



a moon-cake travel pack. very handy for those occasions when you just wish you had a tasty treat nearby.



because she's chinese, that's why.

because i have pictures

date: um, sometime last weekend
time: let's say pre-midnightish
place: the dxd dungeon of asian dancers
tags: nathan, jessica, dxd manager guy, dungeon dancer



here we have jessica and nathan demonstrating the correct posture for performing the heimlich maneuver. i think there may have been some watermelon stuck in her esophagus.



i'm not sure, but i think he just proposed marriage.



if the picture is unclear just focus on the thigh-highs. apparently that's what i was doing.



posterity shot: jessica losing all sensation in her lips.



but her eyes seem to be working fine. . .